Joel's grandma, Norma Knotts, whom we all know as "Nana" went to be with the Lord yesterday evening, December 30. I had mentioned in my Christmas post that she had suffered a stroke Christmas Eve. She continued to depreciate and the family was called to the house Sunday morning at 12 am. The home care nurse felt sure she would not live through the night but she surprised everyone and continued to hang on. Amazingly she was responsive and acknowledged everyone that came to see her. It was difficult for her to talk clearly because of the paralysis and the build up of fluid but she did her best, and she loved all of the company! Joel had had time with her Saturday night and then we went over to see her after church. When we walked in Sunday afternoon, I told her that we were there and took her hand. She had not been able to see since the stroke but immediately indicated that she was aware. Her exact words to me were "that's so important". We have learned all too well that you never know how much time you have with your loved ones. We are so glad we went, 5 hours later she would take her last breaths. Joel's mom and dad and one of the sitters were with her as she entered into eternity with Christ. Tomorrow - January 1st - would have been her 81st birthday. I'm sure this will be the best birthday ever!! Death is never a pleasant thing, and although we were praying for her escape from pain and misery it is so hard to accept the finality of death and separation. It just seems too soon to lose another family member. We will miss her dearly.
The family is finalizing viewing and funeral details today. It looks as if there will be 2 viewings on Friday at Upchurch in Ft. Ashby, WV and then funeral services Saturday at Wesley Chapel United Methodist in Short Gap (where Joel and I were married).

Christmas Day

Christmas started early for us! Raegan burst into our room at 3:22 am and announced that Santa had already been to our house. She proceeded to tell us everything she had gotten in her stocking and that there were LOTS of big presents in the living room! I calmly told her that was nice but that it was too early. Joel wasn't so diplomatic and ordered her to get her butt back in bed! She promptly did so and even went back to sleep!! What a jewel!! We then woke her up at 8 to get the day going - we had lots of places to go.

Raegan loves her Polly Pockets and must have every one ever made! This year the newest item was the Jumbo Jet and Santa came through!

This large item was addressed to the whole family.......what could it be?!
A Karaoke Machine!! Look at Hannah Montana rocking the stage! Yes, everything Hannah Montana was on the list this year as well! Joel jumped right on the karaoke machine too - there was a party CD of love songs with over 30 hits wrapped for Mommy and Daddy!
After opening presents we went to visit Joel's grandma, Nana. She has been in failing health but Christmas Eve she suffered a stroke. We went over to help the sitter roll her to her other side - her left side was paralyzed from the stroke and it affected her sight as well. While we were there she mumbled several brief things to us; one of which was that she wanted the misery to be over. She is not well and we covet your prayers for her comfort and (if the Lord's will) quick home-going. Today (Wed, 12/26) she developed a low-grade temp and fluid in her lungs. The fear is that she is developing pneumonia. Please pray for the whole Knotts family - we are comforted and thankful that she has trusted the Lord as her Savior.

After that, we traveled out to PA for Christmas with my mom and dad. It was a nice visit. We were the first ones there and we were able to spend several hours in great conversation! It was truly one of the best conversations I think we've had. Just a neat discussion. Raegan couldn't wait to give them her presents that she bought at Secret Santa's shop at school.
This was pap's present from Raegan - a fishing picture frame. She will be sending a picture of her fishing for him to put in it. She actually enjoys fishing with Joel! Grammy's present was a beautiful necklace but the picture I took ended up blurry. It did look really great with her sweater that day! Soon, the cousins arrived and we ate lunch together.
The kids enjoying some kid conversation! I don't even want to know what they were discussing. That's Rachel on the left, then Raegan and Ryan on the right.

We were then on the road to get to Joel's parents by 2:30! What a day - it was busy but good for the soul.

Late that night I read over all the Christmas cards we had gotten and one of them really touched me.
"In Jesus we find -
the greatest depth of love,
the fullest portion of joy,
the richest measure of peace.

Only in Him~
Leah

Christmas Eve Service

We enjoyed a beautiful Christmas Eve Service together at Bedford Valley Bible Church. Adam is trucking out west and had to be gone for Christmas - wish he could have been there. But Carole and Olivia were there with Joel, Raegan, Grammy, Pap and me. Amy's family had Christmas obligations of there own, missed them too.
After the service there was food and fellowship time - here's Raegan, Grammy, and Olivia. It was great to visit with so many friends and families that we don't get to see very often. Tyler and his wife were there. They were in to celebrate Christmas with his parents and came to the service, great to see them! (Tyler and Aaron spent alot of time riding 4 wheelers together when Aaron was a junior and senior in high school).

Daddy and Mother at the church service

By the time we got home it was 10:00 and Raegan was anxious for Santa to come - she wrote a letter to leave for him and left cookies on the plate she made plus some CHOCOLATE milk, not just plain milk!
She was certain she heard his bells ringing while she set these out and ran to her bed for stories and prayers. After all, Santa doesn't come until you are asleep!

Christmas Eve

Lately, many people have asked me how I and my family are doing. I guess they mean how are we dealing with the holidays and just recently losing Aaron. I know they mean well and honestly until Aaron’s death I would have said the same thing to a dear friend that had suffered such a loss. But with my new perspective I really want to say “I’m awful – I’m depressed, I’m sad, I’m grieving. Other than that I’m just fine, thanks for asking!”
In all seriousness though, it’s made me consider what I really should say as a reply. As I was thinking about it I also sat down to write my mom and dad a Christmas card. Keeping in mind that Christmas time is NOT my mom’s favorite season, I knew this Christmas was going to be especially tough. Very briefly, here are my thoughts!
The man-made traditions of Christmas can leave us with emptiness, heartache and sadness. Not to mention debt and regret! It is difficult to face this "normally cheerful" holiday shadowed by the darkness of sorrow. But the birth of our Savior that holy night gives us hope! He was born with one purpose....to die – for each one of us that we would have life everlasting! Through the grief we can truly rejoice that His birth AND death thousands of years ago brings us comfort. We know that our sweet Aaron is with Him because he accepted that precious gift of eternal life and what better hope and comfort than that we too will be with Him!! We will choose to enjoy Christ not necessarily Christmas.

We are off to spend tonight with my mom and dad at Christmas Eve service. I’ve always loved the candlelight, the songs and the beautiful quiet reflection. I will especially cherish the sweet presence of each family member knowing our time is precious. We miss Christina and the family and wish we had them all here to hold tonight. Blessings to you all!
Leah

Christmas activities

Last night we had our church program. The kids learned verses and recited them between songs they had rehearsed. The kids were a riot, one thing is for sure there isn't a shy kid in the church! They belted the parts they knew and gladly entertained us all.
Raegan is the smiley one in the middle with the head of curls!


Today we enjoyed making cookies for Santa. Raegan is quite the cook, cracking the eggs and all. You can't see the apron that she's wearing but it was my Grandmother McCoy's. Grandmother never got to witness her grandchildren grow up and boy would she be surprised at how many great-grandchildren she has!

We baked enough cookies just for Santa and left the rest of the batter for Daddy and Raegan to enjoy all week. Yes, they eat the batter raw! It's something they love to do when I'm gone - make batter and eat it. Real healthy!! Look at the hunk of batter on her spoon!!

Bailey is getting into the Christmas spirit too!

Conversation with Grandma Charlotte

I spent an hour on the phone with Grandma Charlotte last night and found it so amusing that I thought I'd share. First let me tell you that she is doing well and has had the dialysis port removed. Her defibrillator is working and she has responded well to the implant. Friday night she decided that she wanted to go back to "living on her own" and so she asked to be moved back into her mother-in-law suite that is attached to my parents' house. She has a separate entrance but is still close enough that my mom runs back and forth all day checking on her and bringing her meals and meds.

Anyways, she is enjoying her renewed freedom but is concerned about her weight! Yes, you read it right - her weight. Grandma turned 86 on Monday, is recovering from major surgery, lives on a renal diet and thinks that she needs to lose weight. We women are never happy, are we?! So I proceeded to ask her how much weight. Well, she thought that 8 pounds would be just about right. I'm thinking to myself some people have a good bowl movement and lose that much! Anyways, I asked her why she wanted to lose 8 pounds and her response was that she has several skirts in her closet that she would like to wear again. I inquired as to why and where she would be wearing a skirt these days and she said - "I want to go back to church again!" I was so encouraged to hear her say that, it's been quite a long time since she's been able to go to church. Initially her energy was so low that she couldn't even think about getting up and getting ready to go to church then her conditioned worsened and led to the defibrillator implant and it was absolutely impossible to take her. She's got a little ways to go but the woman has drive I tell ya! I hope she gets her wish and is able to get that skirt on and go to church soon - there are so many people waiting to welcome her back! Oh and by the way Grandma Charlotte, HAPPY 86 and here's to many more.....years that is - not pounds!
Leah

Must Hear This

I've not attached a youtube link on my blog yet, so I hope this will work. If it doesn't I hope that Shannon tells me how to do it the correct way. hee hee
We all face the grief of losing someone or something we love. But our perspective can be skewed by our own pain. This is a phone call from a 12-yr old boy to Houston radio station KSBJ FM 89.3. This little boy's comments are so amazingly profound, he is wise beyond his years. It will move you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCdZwitrNoY
Blessings,
Leah

The 7 Ups!

1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance,but the Lord looks at the heart."I Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking."He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!!
. . . for what you believe in.Stand for something or you will fall for anything. "Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..." Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up !!
. . . to the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up !!. .. . for something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up !! . . . your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING." Philippians 4:6

Taking Time

Like everyone else this time of year, our lives are chaotic! Add on top of that the emotional roller coaster of grieving and the dark northeast dreary weather and you have the recipe for…..well, depression. There are days I just don’t want to wake up and face the day. I would love to just stay in there and hibernate. Each day I keep pushing myself all day and by evening I’m exhausted. I decided to take some time on Monday to be alone and I went to the cemetery to visit Aaron’s gravesite. I KNOW he’s not there, but it was cathartic to “talk to him”. I guess I just needed to dump my feelings. Unbeknown to me Mother and Daddy had been there Saturday and placed some pine and flowers.

Mother and Daddy take great care in keeping his grave site cleared and attractive.

I also had bought some pine shaped in a cross that I fell in love with. The cross is full of different pines and greens – so effervescent, strong and masculine. It just reminded me of Aaron when I saw it. It even has some sort of berries in it. I just love it. I had the florist add a plaid ribbon so that it would have that manly Christmas feel.


The view was not as clear and pristine as it was the day we buried him. The wide open view of the mountains was covered by a thick fog and haze but in some odd way it was beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever been up there that I didn’t just stand there and take in the view. It’s absolutely breathtaking.

When I got home I got a call from Christina! We talked for a long time. Sorry you didn’t get more done girl, but I can’t tell you how much that specific call meant to me. Keep on keepin’ on, there’s a plan for your life and God is bigger than we can ever imagine!
Leah

Two Months

Yesterday marked 2 months since Aaron's death. Try as I may I just could not forget it. So many things during the day reminded me of him, Christina and the kids. When the kids were outside playing in the snow I thought of all the times we spent sledriding down those hills on our farm in Centerville. I remember jumping on Aaron's back on a waxed up sled and screaming down the ice covered roads, hoping no one had been brave enough to drive up them. Wow, what a rush! I remember coming in from hours in the cold and my mom having hot chocolate for us all - the mix that she made from scratch!! Loved that stuff.
When we were kids, we were responsible for shoveling the snow and my mom was usually out there with us. Sure enough, when I called her last night she told me she had been outside shoveling yesterday. I'm sure her thoughts were of the same thing - Aaron.
Last night as I was getting ready for bed I heard Joel in Raegan's bedroom helping her with her spelling words and reading to her. I closed my eyes and tried to record that voice and that moment in my memory. Knowing how short life really is. I cannot imagine facing the rest of my life without my dear husband and yet I know that I cannot live my life in fear of what could happen. I'm comforted by the knowledge that God is in control. He loves us, He wants what is best for us and He uses our lives to bring honor and glory to Him. Just as He did with Aaron.
Christina, you face an unspeakable difficulty each and every day, but we know that through Christ you have the power, the strength and the wisdom to lead your family. He will give you rest, comfort, understanding, guidance and the unconditional love that He showed us at the cross!
The kids are continually in our prayers. My dear Samuel, you are a spitting image of your handsome daddy and I pray that you will grow in God's grace and He will heal your broken heart. Your mom loves you more than life itself, she prays for you everyday as do we. There are so many emotions that come and go - some good, some bad but we must learn how to channel or direct them so that we don't hurt those around us. Talking and writing about them is good, even if it brings tears. Those tears are part of the healing process. We will face each milestone as it comes, praying for and encouraging each other and always trusting our Heavenly Father.
We love you!

Snow Day!

It started out as a 2-hour delay and soon the kids were off school for the day! I had to chuckle because when we were kids they didn’t close school unless there were feet of snow - this was just a few inches! So, the kids are excited for their first day off and it didn’t take long for the street to fill with kids.

Just don't eat the yellow snow!
These are the 6 that went to see Cinderella together Friday night. Raegan is in the purple coat. Her twin cousins are in the black with green stripe coats. Jansen is on the left and Isaiah is on the right. They are a year younger than her but they're both bigger than her!
It's still snowing - they are calling for 3 inches but I think we've surpassed that now. It's beautiful! Raegan finally had enough of the cold and came in for hot chocolate - she's off to make Christmas cookies at Mimi's (Joel's mom's)

Grandma Charlotte seems to be doing well. She met with her new General Phys. on Monday, he was pleased with her progress and doesn’t need to see her for several months unless there are complications. She also had an appointment with her new Kidney Dr. They flushed her port and took blood to see if she needs dialysis again. She’s only had it once since she left the hospital. She is wanting to “move back” to her apartment that’s attached to my mom and dad’s but she is not strong or well enough. My mom says she thinks Grandma is afraid that she’s infringing on their alone time. It has been very time consuming and draining on my mom. She is behind on her work in their office, hasn’t been able to send out thank you cards, is feeling the crunch of Christmas, and had really wanted to be with Christina and the kids for Christmas. This is a huge responsibility for my mom, please pray for her continued strength.

Warm hugs

Leah

Busy Weekend

Friday night Raegan joined her twin cousins & friends for a night at the Cumberland Theatre to see a production of Cinderella. Thank you John and Tracy for taking them (all 6 of them). This gave Joel and I an evening to ourselves, which we chose to spend at a local restaurant. It was nice to finish complete conversations without being interrupted. Raegan seems to have so many intellectual questions these days and she insists on being in on EVERY discussion!
Saturday morning we were up early to make it to the mall for Breakfast with Santa. Radio Disney was there and they had lots of characters for the kids – Shrek & Fiona, the Grinch, Beauty and the Beast, Pooh, Tigger, and yes, Santa and Mrs. Claus. I forgot my camera (duh!) but the whole reason we were going was to register for a Hannah Montana concert ticket drawing. Oh, by the way – we didn’t win it…..bummer! Raegan and I did a little shopping and then went to talk to Santa ourselves.

She had her list of toys in mind and one more thing…..a baby brother or sister. I sat with her & Santa but I can’t tell what I asked for.

Sunday started like normal, a rush to get ready and pick up all the kids for church. Raegan continues to invite all of her friends but we are running out of room in our Explorer. We are so proud of her willingness to share Jesus with others – even the boys in the neighborhood!

After church we took Raegan to see the Nutcracker at Allegany College.

She bought this at the "gift shop". It's a ballerina jewelry container.

We were in the front row, center seats. A little girl’s dream!! She sat with her mouth open the entire time. Joel did too, as he slept – ha, ha, just joking. He watched the entire production and even enjoyed it somewhat. We may just give him the “Dad of theYear Award” for sticking it out!