Two Months

Yesterday marked 2 months since Aaron's death. Try as I may I just could not forget it. So many things during the day reminded me of him, Christina and the kids. When the kids were outside playing in the snow I thought of all the times we spent sledriding down those hills on our farm in Centerville. I remember jumping on Aaron's back on a waxed up sled and screaming down the ice covered roads, hoping no one had been brave enough to drive up them. Wow, what a rush! I remember coming in from hours in the cold and my mom having hot chocolate for us all - the mix that she made from scratch!! Loved that stuff.
When we were kids, we were responsible for shoveling the snow and my mom was usually out there with us. Sure enough, when I called her last night she told me she had been outside shoveling yesterday. I'm sure her thoughts were of the same thing - Aaron.
Last night as I was getting ready for bed I heard Joel in Raegan's bedroom helping her with her spelling words and reading to her. I closed my eyes and tried to record that voice and that moment in my memory. Knowing how short life really is. I cannot imagine facing the rest of my life without my dear husband and yet I know that I cannot live my life in fear of what could happen. I'm comforted by the knowledge that God is in control. He loves us, He wants what is best for us and He uses our lives to bring honor and glory to Him. Just as He did with Aaron.
Christina, you face an unspeakable difficulty each and every day, but we know that through Christ you have the power, the strength and the wisdom to lead your family. He will give you rest, comfort, understanding, guidance and the unconditional love that He showed us at the cross!
The kids are continually in our prayers. My dear Samuel, you are a spitting image of your handsome daddy and I pray that you will grow in God's grace and He will heal your broken heart. Your mom loves you more than life itself, she prays for you everyday as do we. There are so many emotions that come and go - some good, some bad but we must learn how to channel or direct them so that we don't hurt those around us. Talking and writing about them is good, even if it brings tears. Those tears are part of the healing process. We will face each milestone as it comes, praying for and encouraging each other and always trusting our Heavenly Father.
We love you!