We've not been home much at all and I'm struggling to type this before I need to pick Raegan up from school. I've been wanting to update the blog and even change the background. I'm tired of it, but that will have to wait.
The weekend was extremely difficult for us all. Friday was full with 2 viewings and a dinner in between them. Nana had lived a very full life and the attendance at her viewings were evidence of that. The line went on for hours! It was great to see family and friends and I know the family felt the warm and tender condolences sent by so many who came, sent flowers and food. Saturday was another viewing, the service and burial. I knew that the wound was still tender in my heart from losing Aaron but I never expected the amount of emotions that came over me. I teared up many times but I completely lost it when my mom and dad walked into the church on Saturday for the service. Not only was this Nana's funeral but it was also the 3 month anniversary of us losing Aaron. Time HAS NOT healed us!! We are still so tender, the pain is so raw! The emotions were so jumbled for me. I was able to say goodbye to Nana, have time with her, hold her hand and softly smooth her hair as she struggled to breathe and wait for the Lord's calling. She was ready and we knew it was time. I cried for the pain of separation that her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren feel after making years of memories with her. But my emotions were so different as I thought of Aaron - he was ripped away from us. I did not have that time to say goodbye, to touch his face, take in his sweet smell, and tell him "I love you" one last time. I did not have time to prepare for the pain. I was NOT ready for him to go, none of us were!!
As the soloist sang "It is Well With My Soul" I was reminded that both Aaron and Nana knew where they were going without a shadow of a doubt. They are rejoicing together with their new bodies. It is well.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Emotional Weekend
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
Yes it was hard at the funeral. Didn't think it would, but as soon as I saw the casket I immediately thought of the last look of Aarons tent that I saw. How I loved that tent, that wide smile, the dancing eyes, the chunky cheeks, the smell of his cologne that he would even put on to mow the lawn. :) I played with his hair at that last sight remembering all the times I cut it during his life. A handsome man he had become and he had caught himself a beatiful wife. Together they gave us 4 beatiful grandkids that all have a part of Aaron. Aaron David, named after his daddy. The first son didn't get the name because there had been too many jrs. in the McCoy family that his daddy didn't want all the confusion. He and his daddy shared the same thing "Perfectionism" that at times frustrated them. They both loved the outdoors, making a job look good, hunting, the love of country, military, a love of the Word of God, teaching it to others and evangelism. When Aaron was small he would ask why daddy always had to ask people if they knew the Lord. Who would have known that Aaron would turn out the same, but then again he came from the same mold. He had a passion just like his daddy to see people saved. And now he's rejoicing with the ones he and his daddy led there. As the man sang It is Well With My Soul, I asked myself, is it well with MY soul ? And by Gods grace I could say YES. Though I miss Aaron terribly I had prepared to lose Aaron when he was only 8 months old. I was saved Sept. 1972 and I learned in the Word that my children were a gift given for a short time and in that time I had to instruct and train them for the Lord. They were His to use and He use Aaron in a way that I couldn't have imagined. In his career he was all over the world and boy did he ever touch people. How could I have held him for myself when you see how the Lord used him for others. That's what it's all about. Everything else is temperal but people are eternal. And now he is enjoying that eternal life, resting from the strugles of this life having left an enormous lose in the lives who knew and loved him but also leaving a legacy, an example for all to follow. Sorry Leah for taking up your space with my rambling. But I feel better !
Love You
Mother
Post a Comment