Why?

I went out for a jog Thursday evening. It was absolutely perfect. It wasn't hot and stuffy and it wasn't cold and brisk. It was just right and the breeze hitting my face was so fresh and rejuvenating. The sounds and the sights of summer-like activities going on all around me were wonderful!! When I jog I like to let my mind wander freely - no thinking, (except when I'm concentrating on getting my next breath!) Anyways, I was enjoying this little jaunt when up behind me came a motorcycle. My mind instantly flooded with thoughts of Aaron.

I know we all have asked the question "Why, Lord?" when something terrible has happened in our lives even though we dare not admit it. It's almost like a natural bodily reflex that occurs when trauma strikes our world. So I'll confess - I have! I found myself asking that over and over as I ran - why, Lord, why did Aaron have to die? Why do we all have to suffer such loss and pain? The tears began to fall and my path soon became blurry. And then the Holy Spirit spoke to me "Leah, you never ask "why" when something good happens, why would you question me now?" I had to chuckle through my tears. That's exactly right. When we get a job promotion, when we give birth to a beautiful son or daughter, when we marry, when we enjoy all of the beautiful joyous moments in life we never question why we deserve such luxury. Instead we soak them in almost as if we are entitled to them and our Lord had nothing to do with them. But when that difficult time rolls around and we experience heartache, despair and loss we wonder why such calamity would come into our lives. Why do we deserve such struggles. As I continued to run several verses came to mind and I was reminded that the reason for both the good AND the bad in our lives is the same -- to bring honor and glory to Him! That's it!!

I once heard that when you find yourself asking the Lord "why" change it to "what". So from now on don't ask "Why, Lord?" instead ask "What, Lord?" What is it that you want me to learn from this? What do you want me to see that I've not seen before? What do you want me to change in my life? What do you want me to do as service for you?
We are not our own and we were bought with a price (Christ's blood on the cross). We have been placed here in this specific time, with these specific circumstances to live for Him. Why then would we question why?
Leah

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, deserted island. He prayed fervently for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none came. Exhausted, he eventually built a small hut out of driftwood as a shelter and a place to store his few remaining possessions.
One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. Everything was lost. Stunned with grief and anger, he cried, "God, how you could do this to me!" Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island. It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" the weary man asked. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
God is always at work in our lives, even during the most stress-filled moments. When we entrust everything we are and everything we have to God, when we depend upon his truth instead of our own understanding and choose to walk in obedience, God promises to "make our paths straight" (Proverbs 3:6 NLT). No matter how deep the valley, we can count on God for direction. In Proverbs 3:6, "make straight" means "to do right, to make smooth or to be evenly hammered". I love that truth! I can almost see my Father going before me, the hammer of truth in his hand, flattening every fear-filled obstacle, hammering down every mountain of doubt before me so that, when he has made a way, I can cross over. He straightens out the crooked paths, improving my behavior and causing me to do the "right" things.
Valleys are best faced with a total abandonment to the Shepherd of the valley. How many times have we danced with joy on the mountain top then moaned and complained in the valley? God is Lord of the mountain and the valley. I suspect that the most powerful life is lived in the valley -- not on the mountain top. Every valley is surrounded by mountains and every valley has a shepherd, a shepherd who will walk with us through the valley, a shepherd who will go before us, leading us out of the valley.

No matter where you are today, your Father is there. No matter how deep or long the valley, he is with you, waiting for you to surrender all. Give him your valley, knowing that he will surely lead you out. God has ordained that valley as an altar of sacrifice, an opportunity for him to work through your broken heart and life. Keep your glance on the valley and your gaze on the Shepherd. Begin praising him for your deliverance. It will surely come.

Tomorrow is yet another milestone - 6 months! It seems like just yesterday that Aaron's life was snatched away from us all and yet at the same time it seems like years since we've seen his smile, heard his laugh and smelled his cologne-soaked skin. (Wow, he always smelled so good!)

When he died I wanted the world to stop, nothing else was important. Afterall, it seemed like it had for our family, why couldn't everyone else just stop what they were doing and mourn like me. But life goes on.

As I've watched Spring wake up from it's Winter nap I've been encouraged by the sights of new life all around me. The fresh colors of green grass and trees, the bright smile of yellow on the forsythia bushes - they bring joy to those of us who despise the gloom of winter. And they have reminded me that the Lord continues to hold this world of mine together. He brings up the sun each day, and hangs the moon each night. Life does go on.....the Lord is still holding our world in space. And just like those happy tulips that have popped through the ground -- it's beginning again. There is joy in this time of the year and there can be joy in this season of life as well. I rejoice that Christ's resurrection means we too will be given life everlasting with Him. It's definately NOT over for Aaron. It has begun anew!

Ironically, my email devotion today was about - you guessed it - death!

Death always throws us into the valley . . . the place we least desire to go, and when we least expect to. It comes as a thief in the night, and steals away those we love, leaving us to mourn and grieve. Where we once stood on the mountaintop where the light in our lives had shined so brightly has become a cloud that is cast over all that we do.

Whether you have lost someone you loved, or you are faced with your own mortality, death can be devastating. When we walk through death's valley, we come face-to-face with fear, and life seems suddenly to stop. Our soul is overwhelmed, our heart is broken, and we can barely walk, talk, or listen . . . much less carry on the routine of life.

Yet in that valley, we can choose to respond with a steadfast determination that shouts to the Lord, "I will fear no evil; for you are with me!" (Psalm 23:4). "There is nothing that can separate me from your love" (Romans 8:38--39). "You have promised always to be with me" (Hebrews 13:5).The claim of God's promises brings light into a valley where all has grown dim.

For life is not what it seems. We may think we are alone but God is with us. Loss is terrible but not forever. Death seems permanent but is only temporary. Jesus died but was raised again. The power of the resurrection takes on a new meaning when we face our own crucifixions.

Saying good-bye to loved ones is excruciatingly painful. But slowly and most assuredly, God provides comfort and brings light back into our lives. He leads us out of the valley and back onto the mountaintop where the view becomes crystal clear again.

We need not fear death, for Christ has conquered death in His resurrection. Death may separate us for a time, but Christ will reunite us forever.

Looking for that Blessed Hope and Glorious Appearing,
Leah

Life Lessons

I know this sounds ridiculously mundane for a blog posting but bear with me. The other night I fixed peas with dinner. Neither Raegan or Joel like them but I told them that we need to be eating a variety of vegetables and that they would each eat the small portion that I put on their plates. Joel proceeded to tell me that he has never liked peas, never will and wouldn't eat them for dinner. Well....he ate them. He stirred them into his mashed potatoes and found they would go down easier. He told Raegan to do the same but she wouldn't go for it. She drug out dinner forever because she wouldn't eat her peas.

She cried, she whined, she kicked and then she said "mommy, peas are worse than shots!" I chuckled knowing how much she detests shots. (She had quite a few bad experiences with steroid shots in the hospital on several occasions.)

But her comment made me think of something - so often things come into our lives and we kick and scream, whine and cry refusing to "swallow" them. We don't want this to happen, we don't want things that way. The Lord has said it is for our good and He will bring good from it. Until we are completely broken and without strength we think we can do things our way. But our will must be broken and we must come to the point of turning things over to the father who loves us so much He gave His life for us and trust him that the daily "peas" will soon pass and we will develop a stronger spiritual walk with him.

Next time you have to "eat your peas", remember it's for your good!

Raegan's Mean Mom

Easter

Wow! Once again, I'm way behind on posting the goings on in the family. I've been working alot and well, my family comes first. I'm up late tonight and thought I would post Easter pictures. I really should be in bed since Raegan was up 1/2 the night last night with nightmares. Oh well.

Raegan had a talk with E.B. about her gifts. She told him that she didn't really care what she got because she thought it would be greedy to ask for anything. I've never heard of a kid saying that!! Anyways, he came through and brought lots of nice things.

We had an egg hunt at our house the evening before with my twin nephews - BRRR! It was so cold the snow was blowing around. They still enjoyed it.

We enjoyed Easter morning breakfast at church and the kids sang their songs. Raegan recited the verses that she's been learning here at home. It reminded me of myself at that age. My parents believed that the sooner you get the children to speak in front of the church the sooner they will become comfortable with it. Well, I always would start crying from my nerves and my voice would quiver - Raegan did the exact same thing! I teared up just listening to her. She has learned John 3:16 & 17 and is working on verse 18.
My Easter Beauty
Our McCoy fam gathered at mother and daddy's church for Easter lunch and egg hunt. We have quite a large family and the church fellowship hall has worked well the last 3 or 4 years for us. As you can see in the picture, the only one that wouldn't smile for me was Adam - act your age boy!
The kids hunted for the eggs that Adam, Joel and Steve hid. Unfortunately the guys couldn't remember where they hid all 135 eggs. It took a while but all the eggs were found. Here Joel is counting and recounting. FUN!
Not a whole lot of pictures, I know. It was a great day though and I know each one of us cherished the time we got to spend together.