Learning Through Pain

Two years ago I was not thinking about calling Aaron and telling him how much I loved him. I wasn't preparing myself for the most traumatic experience of my life. And I wasn't thinking hmmm....I wonder how much longer my beloved family members will be alive. I was living a normal fast-paced, self-absorbed day when - WHAM - I was hit with the reality of immortality.

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the day that Aaron went home to be with the Lord.

This milestone consumed my thoughts as I flipped the calendar to October at the beginning of the month. I began to reflect and think about all the many changes that have occured since that fateful day. Some of the changes were instantaneous and necessary because of the now empty place that Aaron's life filled. But others have been in the making. Changes that are still evolving, continuing to reshape lives, thoughts and actions.

I can remember back in 2007 thinking, "Lord, there must be someone you are trying to reach, someone's life you are trying to impact with this". I never once thought that that person might be me. I shutter at the thought that it would take my brother's death to make changes in me. But I must admit that in the process it HAS changed me.

I am tempted to itemize these changes and explain in detail here on my blog. But I have learned that this medium tends to bring out the writer in me and I may share more than necessary. So I'll suffice it to say that I continue to see God's hand of mercy working in my life and Him purifying my thoughts and actions everyday. I want (we all should) a life that leaves a legacy of obedience to God's call on my life. And that call is simply obeying His Word. What joy and peace we can find when we release the selfish grasp we have on our lives and fully embrace HIS PLAN.

I can do ALL things through Him who gives me strength and ALL things do work together for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.